"birds and squirrels and earth and sky"
This made me really fucking sad given the timing. TT^TT
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.
He’d toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the
middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he
turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.
He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper.
He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they
became worried and decided to go to the hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home
with her date. After being informed of the problem, their
daughter’s date said he could get the peanut out..
The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to
shove two fingers up the father’s nose and told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.
The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young
man insisted that it was nothing.
Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said,
‘That’s so wonderful! Isn’t he smart? What do you think he’s going to be when
he grows older?’
The father replied, ‘From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law.
- 1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? CLOSED
- 2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? NO
- 3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? OUT
- 4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?NO
- 5:Do you like to use post-it notes? NO
- 6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? YES
- 7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? BEAR
- 8:Do you have freckles? NO
- 9:Do you always smile for pictures? NO
- 10:What is your biggest pet peeve? PEOPLE THAT COME UP TO MY REGISTER ON THEIR CELL PHONE
- 11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk? NO
- 12:Have you ever peed in the woods? YES
- 13:What about pooped in the woods? NO
- 14:Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? YES
- 15:Do you chew your pens and pencils? NO
- 16:How many people have you slept with this week? 0
- 17:What size is your bed? FULL
- 18:What is your Song of the week? EMINEM & RIHANNA - THE MONSTER
- 19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink? IF THEY WANT TO
- 20:Do you still watch cartoons? CERTAIN ONES
- 21:Whats your least favorite movie? I HAVE A FEW
- 22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? NOT TELLING :P
- 23:Favorite place? SAN DIEGO
- 24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in? BBQ SAUCE
- 25:What is your favorite food? LASAGNA
- 26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love? I HAVE A FEW OF THESE TOO
- 27:Last person you kissed/kissed you? KAYLA (DUH LOL)
- 28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout? YES
- 29:Favorite read? SIDNEY SHELDON BOOKS, ROBIN HAMILTON SERIES, THOUGHTS, THE DAY I SHOT CUPID
- 30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? PRETTY RECENTLY ACTUALLY
- 31:Can you change the oil on a car? NO
- 32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket? NO
- 33:Ever ran out of gas? CAME VERY CLOSE
- 34:Favorite kind of sandwich? PB&B
- 35:Best thing to eat for breakfast? OMELETS
- 36:What is your usual bedtime? DEPENDS
- 37:Are you lazy? SOMEWHAT
- 38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? REALLY? I HAD A DIFFERENT COSTUME EACH YEAR…
- 39:What is your Chinese astrological sign? MONKEY
- 40:Are you happy? FOR THE MOST PART
- 41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions? KINDA….
- 42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs? LEGOS!
- 43:Are you stubborn? YES
- 44:Who is better…Leno or Letterman? CONAN IS SUPERIOR! :P
- 45:Ever watch soap operas? USED TO
- 46:Are you afraid of heights? YES
- 47:Do you sing in the car? YES
- 48:Do you sing in the shower? NO
- 49:Do you dance in the car? YES
- 50:Ever used a gun? NO
- 51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? IT’S BEEN AWHILE…
- 52:Do you think musicals are cheesy? SOME
- 53:Is Christmas stressful? CAN BE
- 54:Ever eat a pierogi? NO
- 55:Favorite type of fruit pie? BANANA CREAM (DOES THAT COUNT? IF NOT, THEN APPLE….)
- 56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? TEACHER
- 57:Do you believe in ghosts? NOT REALLY
- 58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? NO
- 59:Take a vitamin daily? YES
- 60:Wear slippers? SOMETIMES
- 61:Wear a bath robe? YES
- 62:What do you wear to bed? PJS
- 63:First concert? BEACH BOYS
- 64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? KMART….
- 65:Nike or Adidas? NEITHER….
- 66:Cheetos Or Fritos? DEPENDS
- 67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? PEANUTS
- 68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? NO
- 69:Ever take dance lessons? NO
- 70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? NO
- 71:Can you curl your tongue? I CAN DO MANY THINGS….
- 72:Ever won a spelling bee? YES
- 73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy? YES
- 74:Own any record albums? YES
- 75:Own a record player? NO
- 76:Regularly burn incense? NO
- 77:Ever been in love? YES
- 78:Who would you like to see in concert? RIHANNA
- 79:What was the last concert you saw? THE PACKAGE TOUR
- 80:Hot tea or cold tea? COLD
- 81:Tea or coffee? TEA
- 82:Sugar or snickerdoodles? SNICKERDOODLES
- 83:Can you swim well? YES
- 84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? YES
- 85:Are you patient? YES
- 86:DJ or band, at a wedding? BOTH
- 87:Ever won a contest? YES
- 88:Ever have plastic surgery? NO
- 89:Which are better black or green olives? EWW
- 90:Can you knit or crochet? NO
- 91:Best room for a fireplace? HMM
- 92:Do you want to get married? I DID….
- 93:If married, how long have you been married? N/A
- 94:Who was your HS crush? ALYSSA
- 95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? NO
- 96:Do you have kids? NO
- 97:Do you want kids? I DID
- 98:Whats your favorite color? BLUE
- 99:Do you miss anyone right now? YES
Buy/review: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/you-for-christmas-feat.-mark/id583364929 Help support indie music by liking, following and subscribing…
They reposted it, so i did too :P
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic
garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every once in
awhile, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20
bills falling Out of that bag.”
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I’d better go back and
see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer..”
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that
money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to
the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and
through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden. It used
to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know.
Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?’ So, now, on game days, I
stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge
clippers. Every time some guy sticks his pecker through my fence, I
surprise him, Grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”
"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."
voting against gay marriage is like ordering a piece of cake at a restaurant and having a complete stranger be like “waiter, cancel that cake”
Merry Christmas from the Talking Animals channel. Share this with someone you love as a Christmas card! Be a fan on facebook: http://facebook.com/klaatu42 Fo…